My Breasts


bfThis may seem like an odd topic for a MTF crossdresser as you may think it should read “My Breast Forms” or “My fake Breasts” as it would be lunacy for someone to potentially suggest that his silicone breast forms should be compared to a woman’s flesh and blood breast with the same language, and this is correct.  I also say be damned with that as these are my breasts and I am very proud and firmly attached to them, even though they are not firmly attached to me and differ greatly from a woman’s breasts.  Some in the CD community look at cost of silicone breast forms and suggest that they are way too much money for what you get and you can get a tonne of birdseed and pantyhose for the $200 it costs for a single pair of silicone forms.  That is a completely truthful statement but I have had the same forms for half a decade and absolutely adore them and have not regretted their purchase once.  The strange thing is that I really do view them as my breasts, not a separate item I put on to complete the illusion but an extension of me and they have a very special meaning for me.  Because of the cost of my breasts I have been limited from changing sizes on a whim which may seem like a down side but my 40C breasts have forced me to buy a certain size of bra and made me always consider how a top or dress will fit with my size of breasts.  As strange as it sounds this limitation has been very freeing in some ways and like women I am forced to come to terms with the shape and size of my breasts and am not able to switch them willy-nilly.  They also helped me come to terms with being a crossdresser more than I ever expected as I no longer was filling my depressingly empty bra cups with clothes or balloons that looked bad and felt weird but was filling them consistently with something that looked good and felt quite real.  They helped me to define and find me by bringing her into me and making bras necessary to hold up my breasts.  Now there is no way to compare this to a woman’s experience of having them form naturally and having them become a permanent part of you nor is the meaning comparable;  for us however this is as close as we will ever get and that has its own special meaning, barring of course implants and hormones but that isn’t really my deal.

The reason I am writing this is because as much as I love my breasts they are getting on in years and are showing signs of wear and I must consider replacing them.  This brings up the question that after all I have been through with them how am I supposed to retire them?  I can’t simply toss them aside into the trash as they have meaning and memories with them.  I can’t hold a funeral and bury them in the backyard as that would be really weird, and I doubt they decompose .  I suppose I could get them mounted and framed for my wall which would be a unique conversation piece to say the least though what would those conversations be?  Sure I have thrown out other things of meaning over the years such as my first bra and panties but I never felt as close to them as I do to my breast forms.  Since I am already invested in the cup size (Just like lenses with an SLR camera) I will buy the same size again and I guess I may just buy a new pair and pack these ones away in boxes and someday down the road I’ll take them out and with a sigh throw them in the garbage, or the recycling bin just for a little joke.  Though they still have some life left in them yet.

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5 thoughts on “My Breasts

  1. Very well written and I think a lot of us can understand what is said here. I still have the first dress I ever bought as Susan, it doesn’t fit any more and looks bad but just can’t bring myself to get rid of it.

  2. I have a closet full of dresses and shoes that are dated, worn or do not fit that I just cannot find a way to dispose. I should pack a bunch off to the Goodwill or put more in the trash but I just keep thinking that every item merits one or two more wearings. I am not sure why I am such a pack rat with my girl clothes. Back at the end of the 1990s I did a major thinning and tossed a lovely blue dress that I have been trying to replace for over a decade.
    Pat

  3. Love to crossdress. Widower free to express femme side. Love your rational comments on all aspects. Mostly, I am very tasteful but I do like to sample the gamut from prom to skirts and sweaters and, of course, bras, panties, and adhesive breast forms.

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